Life after 40

The Diary of a Technophobe

SHARKEY= technophobe
ˈtɛknə(ʊ)fəʊb/Submit
noun
a person who fears, dislikes, or avoids new technology.

 

Over 40 and I don’t have a clue on computers !!

When Duff and I decided to do this blog, I was so excited about it, not once did I stop and think Janet you can’t work a computer!!

Duff has 2 degrees and uses a computer on a daily basis , I know nothing about them. The first thing I did was buy myself a note pad and I was off. Duff, my husband and kids laughed at me and said you need to use a laptop, which I have never had the need to use. I left school and went straight into hairdressing which doesn’t require computers at all. When I was at school there was no computer lessons, I don’t even think they had a computer.

Computer’s are just foreign to me, I might send the odd email on my phone which i can kind of work. But sending emails ,attachments are adding pics, well that’s just mind-blowing. I am very good at shopping on my phone I can surf the net for clothes like a whizkid.

So my son has allowed me to borrow his laptop, I know I need to get my own, but I’ve looked at the prices, and think I’d rather spend my money on new shoes.
My son gave me a lesson on how to use  the computer, and how to type a document, he went straight to documents, I shouted, “STOP right there son,which button do I press to switch it on? “ I then got my notepad and wrote step by step how to switch it on!! You see, pen and paper still has its place.

So, now I can switch on and go to a page I can write on, and if I spell something wrong I now know how to correct it. But when I’ve finished  writing my piece,  I am still driving my family mad by shouting up the stairs for them to help me email it. But I am very pleased to say It’s only been couple of weeks and I can do a bit more than when I started. So hopefully in 6 months, I will be more clued up with computers and tackling all sorts of things like adding attachments to emails.

I have spoken  to other women my age and there are others like me, if you’ve had no need to use a computer then you don’t use one AND DON’T KNOW HOW!
They stress me out and I always say, it can break, but pen and paper DOESN’T…….

 

 

 

dementia.JPGThe sadness that is Dementia….

Hi everyone I’m Janet one half of Sharkey and Duff.

Today I wanted to talk about the heartache, trials and tribulations of a having a parent that suffers from Dementia.

My lovely, reserved, strong, rock of a  Dad Geoff was diagnosed 5 years ago and since then has started fade mentally from us day by day. The effect this has on myself and my family has been devastating.

My mother has become totally dependent on me, with her daily ,continuous phone calls .As she tries to cope with the fact that the man she has been married to for most of her life, slips away from her. As the love of her life and her constant partner becomes a stranger in her home. This is exhausting .  The way she feels the need to recall to me every tiny piece of my Dads loss of dignity and his daily confusion is vey hard to hear. I don’t feel I should have too he’s my Dad.

I know I shouldn’t be cross, I know I should be supportive, sympathetic and patient but Its hard. What I feel is angry and upset. Angry at My Dad for becoming ill , angry at my Mum for not being able to cope and upset with myself for feeling this way.

I watch as my first real life hero the first man in my life, the one  to pick me up, wipe my tears, fix my car, walk me down the aisle becomes a shadow of his former shelf.

The scared confused little old  man in front of me surely can’t be my Dad?

I struggle to cope with the fact that I am becoming the carer, that I am now the one my parents rely on.

As my brother tries to deny this is all happening (this I feel is his coping mechanism )so I feel I am left to shoulder the burden. I’m the one they look too but I’m sure he feels that too.

As my mother becomes more and more deflated, defeated and worn out, the decision to put my father in a home looms ahead of us.

Although I know she can’t carry on  much longer, the child in me is resentful that she won’t continue to look after my beloved Dad no matter what.

The thought of him being in a home brings up thoughts that i don’t wish to imagine.

Will they be kind to him ?

Will he be upset ?

Will he be lonely ? My heart breaks daily.

He went into respite for the first time this week my mother needs a break for the sake of her health.

As I visited him I realised this has been the first time I’ve been alone with him in a long time. My mother usually talks for him or over him. It has suddenly dawned on me the gravity of my fathers illness, just how much of him we have lost. How little he remembers and the fact that he doesn’t sometimes know who I am.

When he does remember and he hugs me, I hold onto that moment it is precious.

The future is scary and daunting but most of all sad so very sad.

💔

 

2 thoughts on “Life after 40

  1. An amazing and honest blog, well done Janet! Keep grasping at the little things your lovely dad gives to you and always remember he loves you more that life itself! 💕💖

    Like

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