If you had the chance to go back and live your youth again would you ?
If so would you change anything, would you live your life differently ? If you could go back to the beginning, live it all again but knew what you know now, how would it affect the outcome? What advice would you give your younger self?
This is a topic that Sharkey and I have discussed at length. We have known each other a long time and have seen each other through the good and the bad. Watched each other fall and picked each other up. What could someone of told us back then, that may of saved us from some of our mistakes, or is it the mistakes you make that form us into the people we are. Every decision we make in life has a knock on effect, whether it be to our circumstances or relationships. Would I change any decision I made ? Would I have chosen a different route or a different partner or an alternative career ?
Every piece of advice I think of telling my younger self I also think of the repercussions of that advice. I often wish i’d worked harder at school, I had the brains to be academic just not the drive or need. Would I tell my younger self to apply themselves at school more? But then this decision may have sent me to uni at 18 rather than 42. I may have chosen a different career path because of it. Meaning, I would have missed out on being a hairdresser for all those years, a career that gave me great experiences, lifelong friends and much, much fun and laughter. Would I really want to erase that from my life?
The boyfriends I had in the past would I change any of them? Have they not taught me important lessons good or bad and led me to the happy place I am in now ?
“If you dont believe in yourself ,no one else will”- Joanne Boyes
Travel more see the world…… that would mean I may of not met my first husband with whom I have two amazing sons?
The more I think about it if I could go back , I would look at that innocent little face above and say that life is a journey. I can tell you that it will be filled with much fun and laughter but there will be also be tears and heartache, you will fall down many times but you will always get back up.
You will learn that most people, have a good heart although some people hide it well, if you scratch the surface and give people enough time you will usually find it.
You will make many mistakes but you will learn from every single one. Time flies fast blink and your 30, blink again and your 50 so try to take some time out to smell the roses and appreciate everything and everyone around you.
Be thankful for what you have at the moment, don’t spend your time chasing after other things. Don’t spend your life looking elsewhere for happiness, that’s something you can only find from within.
Trust your gut instincts they are usually right.
Don’t worry so much about what other people think, they are usually to busy worrying about themselves, they are not thinking about you.
“Dont focus on what others say or think about you” Linzi Byrne
Stay fit especially over 40 it will keep you young in body and mind.
Don’t use alcohol as a crutch or as brave juice. Alcohol never solves anything and rarely makes things better.
“ Stay away from shots!!” Gillian Terry
There’s no real fun to be had after 3am go home the party’s over.
Writing this piece has been strangely cathartic for me looking back I have A LOT more fun and laughter than tears and sadness. I have been very lucky in life and blessed with many lovely people surrounding me. I have made lots of mistakes and bad decisions and hurt and been hurt along the way but things have always found a way of working out in the end. So if I did see my younger self would I really say anything at all or would I just let her be……..food for thought.
” To be confident in yourself, get involved with challenges, rather than sit back and watch other people succeed” Jo Bennett
“Dont let anyone put you down, or tell you, your are not good enough. Be confident you can achieve anything with passion, determination and hard work” Lesley Taylor
WHAT WOULD I TELL MY YOUNGER SELF:
Well the first thing, and actually the main thing, would be to listen and actually try at school. It’s something over the last couple of years I have thought about a lot and really regret. But I guess if I told my younger self this, I doubt I would have listened.
I can safely say I saw school as a social event, shouting across the classroom to see if a friend would want to nip out for a cigarette (oh how things have changed!). I did nothing but talk and mess about. I didn’t take anything seriously, never put any effort in and never revised at all for exams, in fact I never actually picked up my results so you never know, I could have bagged all A‘s. HAHA NOT A CHANCE!!!
One thing I do remember from when I was younger, probably the only thing I did put effort in was swimming. My dad always told people I swam like a fish. I was always good at this, in comparison to being academic. I would specifically tell my younger self not to give up on swimming.
“Worrying does not change a thing. Our experiences, both our mistakes and triumphs make us what we are” Marianne Hyde
Through the years, my lack of attention at school has really impacted me academically. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to become an academic, go to university or anything like that, but my spelling is horrendous! People struggle to even read my text messages because they just don’t make sense.
I once skived off school, jumped on the bus to Rochdale. With fear of getting caught I wrote a sick note from my mum. After handing this to school, I got called into the head of years office. She questioned whether my mum wrote the note. With an attempt to lie, I answered ‘yes of course.’ The head of year asked again and said she would ring my mum to check the legitimacy of this note. I panicked. She had caught me out, and guess how she caught me out? MY SPELLING! As of this day, my spelling has not improved.
“Dance like no ones watching, sing like no ones listening” Sarah Stringer
Oh my god, the next thing I definitely would tell myself is in relation to outfit choices. Looking back, what was I thinking…
But, I do believe it is part of growing up. We have all been there, done that and looking back, our questionable outfit choices now, looked good at the time, so let’s just skip past this one… but maybe I would just quickly time travel back to my wedding day and tell myself not to wear huge red roses in my hair, and with my small peanut shapes head, you can just only imagine. I’ll try to dig out a photo, orrrrr maybe not haha.
“If your unhappy in a situation, remove yourself from it. You have one life”Michelle Griffiths
“Do what you want to do,not what others want you to do” Julie Falco
I think the next thing I would tell my younger self was NOT to start smoking. I think I started around the age of 15 years old, which is dreadful and I would have ‘killed’ (not literally) my children if I had found them smoking.
As I’ve already said, I used to nip out of lessons for a quick ‘fag break’ and as I write this I’m cringing. Things have changed so much!
Funny thing is, I got caught hanging out of my bedroom window to have a smoke (trying to hide the fact I smoked from my parents), mind you my room was at the front of my house, across from neighbors who actually grassed me up. Why did that not cross my mind! I never learnt my lesson.
I also think I would have a quiet word with myself about my eating habits. Especially when I was carrying my children. I understand you have to eat more, you are eating for two, and make sure you are getting the right nutrients for your baby BUT I would just emphasise that eating enough wine gums and monster munch’s to put on 3 stone, that it would only be difficult to shift after giving birth. It doesn’t suddenly just disappear after birth like films seem to suggest. The gym became my second home after giving birth and I struggled with my confidence after giving birth, both about my education whilst raising my children but also my looks.
But it wasn’t just whilst I was pregnant, I must admit I have never had a very healthy diet. Throughout my teenage years, my diet was the unhealthiest. I lived off rubbish food! Biscuits, crisps (my favourite) and ham sandwiches. I don’t think I ever ate a vegetable. I was lucky back then, I never really put on weight (it helped that I used to swim like a fish most days 😉 ).
” Don’t worry it will all be alright in the end” Joanne Bent
“Be yourself, try not to care what other people think/say” Victoria Hargreaves
LOVE YOUR OWN TIME
One of the things I wish I knew years ago was to enjoy my own company. Be content with yourself. Who cares if someone doesn’t like you.
I can safely say even though I have made lots of wrong decisions I wouldn’t go back. One good thing about getting older is that you become more content with yourself, be happy, healthy and don’t give a shit!
Will just have to get my daughter who did listen at school to check my spellings and grammar now!
Thanks to all our lovely friends for their quotes!
Lots of love Sharkey & Duff Xxx